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    November 17

    比任何时候都想多干些工作

    比任何时候更想多干些工作,站住我的大脑,别让他在胡思乱想了,可似乎是老天弄人,打从我开始目前的这份工作,就一个时候忙过,就是咱那会想回中国之前,一下来了好一个文件要翻译,等咱从中国回来了,心沓下来,就想靠工作站住注意力,就一直都没有工作可做了,每天上班就是看看email,回复一下,就没了。剩下大把大把的时间坐在电脑前,胡思乱想。
    也许目前我的处境,本就容易胡思乱想,咱这工作还一直积极地提供着土壤。爱。
    于是胡思乱想,怀念,留恋,伤心,解脱,发现自己充斥着各种情绪,都不知道自己在想什么,又该做什么。同住的女孩倒是挺好的,昨天一起吃饭聊天,晚上我的手机没点了,他还特意借给我手机闹表,不然今天早上谁知道一夜失眠的我,起不起得来。 还好,有她做个伴。人啊,感受到孤独是上帝造人的时候给人类留下的本能吧。
     
    再说说女儿,长了四颗牙了,终于说服了孩子的奶奶,让我每天可以和孩子说说话,也是妈妈从电话里求阿,说就剩下和孩子电话得分了,求他们理解。不容易啊,和孩子交流还要寻求理解和批准的。反正最终被理解了,宝贝女儿每次都和我讲电话,我在这边讲,女儿就在那边哼哼。奶奶说女儿又添新衣服了,小姑娘最近长牙,身体有些不舒服,有些郁闷,正到处乱嗑呢。听着女儿的声音,人就一下子高兴起来,母性母性,也是上帝造人的时候,为人类塑造的本能吧。又想到女儿快乐的小脸,我的宝贝公主,妈妈真得很爱你。想到这里,我的痛苦,觉得解脱想法又消失了,我看我也不用胡思乱想了,anyway,the ball is not at my hand. Pray towards God for the best for my angels!我的天使,我失而复得的天使女儿。
     

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